Diwali was Yesterday

Happy belated Diwali everyone. It was yesterday. :(

This is a great clip that captures the essence of Michael Scott:


You can get the real info here.

It makes me wonder what my friend Irwin Singh from Shure is up to.

Hi Julie!

Hello Julie!

That is all.

Kevin

After writing the last post about all of our activities this week, I realized I didn't mention anything about Kevin! He is taking a class toward his Master's degree this semester, and has a project due. He has been spending, unfortunately, all of his free time getting it finished up. The good news is, Kevin is interested in the project and enjoys the work. The bad news is, it's been time consuming and he has been working hard on it. He just finished up a couple of intense days of hiring a new person at Cobalt, which he also worked very very hard on (the person took the job! yes!). This in addition to some major projects at Cobalt for the Fox network and a company in England, and helping to fix some bugs for a longtime local customer. He may be taking a trip to Fox pretty soon. Kevin has so many responsibilities right now. I think he is managing it well but of course it is stressful for him. I know he is tired.
We did get to go out for dinner on Saturday night. We went to Houlihan's and had a good time talking and just being together. We always talk and decompress when Kevin gets home from work which is great for us both.

Little Things

This week we are busy with little things. Yesterday morning I went to MOPS and we had a wonderful presentation about Advent and Christmastime traditions. A husband and wife team shared many good ideas and books they've collected over the years and a beautiful Advent book they've made. You can see the Advent book here. Isaac did well, he nursed through about half the meeting and sat in my lap mostly peacefully for the rest. He is right on the edge of being "too big" to sit with me, and needing to join his fellow babies in the nursery. But as long as he will sit and listen with me, I sure don't mind holding him.
Lucy has her gymnastics class this afternoon, and Michelle and I are taking the kids to see High School Musical 3 after school today. Yeah, we're....going for the kids...we don't like it that much, we're only going for the kids. I don't think the music is catchy at all. Definitely not. It's just for the kids.
Tonight I am doing some stamping with Brandi and Kimberly. I love stamping and scrapbooking but almost never make time for it anymore. I am looking forward to this and I know I'll come home wanting to make all my Christmas cards again. I don't think that's too good of an idea! The first 10 or 20 cards are fun, the next 20 are sort of a grind, and with the last 20 I am cursing Stampin' Up for all time. But tonight should be a really good time.
Tomorrow I am making a double-duty dinner for some favorite friends with new babies...Sharon and Steph. I guess it's triple-duty because I'm making it for our family too. I was laughing to myself while shopping for ingredients, because I bought a few things in the bulk aisle. Making dinner for this crew is 3 dads, 3 nursing moms and 8 kids! (along with 3 babies!) It's all joy. These friends we've known since we were just kids ourselves in college now have such beautiful families, we're still friends and can help and support each other during these times of transition.
Tomorrow afternoon Lucy is having a playdate with her buddy Hadley, and John and I have a cub scout meeting. That's just the start of the week! This weekend we have a Halloween party, 2 birthday parties, trick-or-treating and my annual Springfield Christmas shopping trip with Jenny and Sylvie. I haven't seen Jenny since April which is a really long time for us.
Sometimes I do wish I could just sit on the couch with a book all day and not talk to anyone or do anything. Sometimes I long for solitude. It is so rare in my life. But I know that it is a true blessing to have a life filled with so many wonderful friends and family. There is nothing more important to me.

Get Ready To Laugh

Enjoy!

What I'm Reading

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

Just starting it this weekend.

Did I ever have it in the first place?

Monday's Oprah: Moms, get your sexy back

Words for Smiling

John: "Mom, you could win a beautiful contest."

Lucy: "Mom, if you're driving down the road, and the road is straight, you're still turning because the world is turning."

Uppercase Living

I've been invited to an Uppercase Living party tomorrow. Have you guys heard of this? I hadn't. It's like these big sticky signs with words, pictures, phrases, etc. that you can design and put up around your house. I immediately thought of Lucy. I thought it would be fun if she and I went to the party together, and she got to design a little picture for her wall with her name on it and some flowers and things. I am always looking for little things that I can do with the kids individually to make them feel special. Lucy has been a little sensitive lately about being apart from me at preschool and I've felt that she needed a little Mommy-Lucy special time. So my friend's invitation came at just the right moment.
She is so excited. She is calling it our "date" and keeps telling me how she gets to go to the party with the moms, and that she is very big to be doing that. I get the sense that Lucy feels like she is being let in on a secret...what do the moms do when the kids aren't around? What does Mom do when she goes out with her friends? Now, she will KNOW. It makes me smile.
Once, Lucy and I went on a girls' weekend to St. Louis. Jenny and Sylvie took her to see a play of The Velveteen Rabbit, we went out to dinner and had a sleepover at Jenny's house. This was about 7 months ago. She still talks about it. Doing that with just her (no boys allowed!) made her feel so important.
We will see what Lucy designs for her room tomorrow! And...we'll see if I come home with something for John and Isaac's rooms too! (My prediction: Yes I will.)

New Boo

Our Boo has been trying a few new things lately. Since the weather has turned colder, and windier, he needs something warm for going outside. My friend Erin, who is mom to the two girliest girly girls ever, somehow ended up with this blue infant carrier cozy and she gave it to me. We are testing it out with Boo. John and Lucy call it the Boo House (so now we all do). I thought it might work out better than trying to stuff him into a baby snowsuit 2+ times per day for our school pickups and errands. It is actually a neat little thing - it has elastic all around it and justs fits right over the top of Isaac's seat. It is thick like a comforter, and the little flap goes up and down for walking to the car, and then being inside the car. The only problem is...Isaac hates it! He fusses every time I put it on the seat. Do you see his hand in the photo? He's trying to escape. Look at the look on his face...he's thinking, is this some kind of cruel joke?
We'll see how long the Boo House lasts.
Isaac is so curious about the world right now. He wants to see and touch everything. He's at that stage where, as soon as he gets something into his hands, he shoves it right in his mouth and starts licking it. Since we are careful about what goes into his hands (he's not licking gross stuff) it is such a sweet little thing that he does. This past weekend I was thinking he might want to see a little more of what's going on during dinner. Usually Kevin or I hold him on our lap (more Kevin than me, he doesn't get as much holding time as I do so he likes to do it), but he is grabbing at our food and silverware and can't see as much of what's happening. So we put him in the high chair for the first time. He liked it for about 10 minutes. You can see Lucy is playing with him and John is watching him...I don't think they ate very much dinner that night! It was too exciting that Isaac had his own place at the table now. They insisted that Isaac sit between them and not over by Kevin and I!
Isaac is 5 months and 1 week old, so it won't be too much longer before he tries his first solid food. Probably 3-6 weeks. I think he is still getting full from nursing and a little supplement each day, and at his last Dr. visit he was 14 lbs. 13 oz.! Woo! So no more worries about his weight and I never went up to the 12 oz. per day of formula like the doctor said. He gets only 4 oz. supplement per day.

What will Boo do next!

Remember the hole?

Do you remember the hole in our ceiling? The one right above the back door, that was open for like 8 months? The one that, as soon as we paid the $250 to have it drywalled and repainted, the plumbing above it started leaking again? It's back.
The good news is, Eddy from Urbana Plumbing came right out this morning and fixed the plumbing very well. Kevin did a really good job repairing it using the existing pieces. Eddy's opinion was that some plastic plumbing pieces are just junk no matter how good of a job you do repairing them. So, $285 later we have brass parts instead of plastic and two useable showers again. Once we pay the $250 to have the drywall fixed a second time, we'll have invested $800 in the repair.
I am thinking a lot about what Eddy was telling me this morning. Different contractors bid on jobs in new construction, and of course whomever turns in the lowest bid gets the job. The first thing they do to cut costs is use cheap, crappy parts. Then they hire unskilled workers, call them "apprentices" and pay them $10 an hour. So if they lower their charge for labor by $20 or even $30, they are still making their profit because their employees are sub-par. So you have untrained workers putting in junky parts. Eddy said, I don't even bother bidding on new construction anymore because with the brass parts I use and the cost to pay actual trained and licensed plumbers, we never get the work.
I asked him, is this happening all over town? And he said, not just in our town, but everywhere and in homes at every price point. Half a million dollar homes in Trails of Brittany have the same cheap plastic plumbing that any other new home in our area has. (I am sure not all of them do, but he said, many contractors operate this way.) What a shame. They save a buck now and we pay the real cost in the end. The $10 our plumbing contractor saved when installing our plumbing just cost US $800.
Coincidentally, I was just reading a meditation on Tuesday about integrity in our work. How each of us is called to a certain role, a job, a vocation if you will, and we need to be faithful and honest with ourselves and with others in carrying out that vocation. Maybe nobody else can see the corners we are cutting as we go about our work, but WE know. We trust our bankers, our plumbers, our postal workers, our teachers, our President, and many others to be doing the job they have promised us they'd do. How devastating it is when we discover that trust has been broken (can I hear you say "weapons of mass destruction"?), and what a long and difficult road it is to rebuild that trust. Sometimes it can't be rebuilt at all.
I think we can start rebuilding trust and integrity in our world by being trustworthy ourselves. You know I am really bad about breaking appointments. I don't show up and don't call. I know, it is awful! What a rude thing to do! I've done this with hair appointments, the dentist, the kids' doctor, speech therapy, Lucy's dance class, infant massage lessons, lots of things. It would take 2 minutes to call and reschedule the appointment but I am too lazy to do it. Bad Becky. This is where I am going to start today. I am not going to do this anymore. It wastes other people's time and money. Hole in ceiling = be a person of integrity.

Things I've Bought That I Love

If Mindy Kaling can do it, why can't I?

This post is dedicated to Emily!

#1: Method's Squeaky Green Baby Hair and Body Wash. It is made with rice milk and smells like marshmallows. Enough said.

#2: Bissell Perfect Sweep Turbo. Seriously people, how did I live without this thing? It sweeps all types of flooring and the handle detatches so you can use it on your couches, chairs and stairs. It is quiet and really works. It picks up sand, hair, Pixos beads, rice, you name it. I use it multiple times per day. It takes the place of at least three other cleaning tools I used to use.

#3: Clinique Moisture Sheer Tint. This is a 3-in-1 product that acts as a facial moisturizer, light foundation and sunscreen. Since I have about 90 seconds to put on makeup in the morning, this product really does the trick. You need just a little on your fingers and put it on like a cream. With this and a cream blush, I look at least halfway decent in a very short time.

#4: Enjoy Life Boom-Choco-Boom Crispy Rice Bar. This is the John-safe equivalent of a Nestle Crunch bar. The best part: it is actually delicious. Family run and based out of Chicago, Enjoy Life Foods has been the best thing that ever happened to John's lunch. They also have wonderful granola bars, cookies, trail mixes and bagels. Coming up from them: three different flavors of John-safe snack crackers. Oh Enjoy Life, what in the world would I do without you?

#5: Pandora charms and bracelet. Kevin's mom Judy got me started on this and my Pandora bracelet is about 1/3 of the way finished. It is pretty much my one and only source of bling. Kevin and I are not people who spend a lot on pure indulgences like this but my Pandora bracelet is a real treasure to me. I love wearing it on special occasions I have the whole thing planned out, all the rest of the charms and beads I need to make it just the way I want it. I've picked colors and beads that represent different important people and events in my life and things that are important to me. The next bead I am hoping for is a little ghost to represent...you guessed it!

John's Hair

John has decided that he wants to wear his hair spiked straight up. He uses hair wax and takes his time in front of the mirror getting it just right. He figured out that he needs to take off his pajama top and put on his shirt before fixing it, otherwise it might get a little messed up.

Exhibit A:

Which, I think, looks remarkably close to Exhibit B:

I am happy that he is doing this. He has gotten a few comments and sideways looks from adults but I am letting that go. John absolutely loves his hair spiked up. He thinks it looks cool and it is just the way he wants it.

As parents we walk a fine line between teaching and guiding our children but also letting them have their own ideas and explore their individuality. I think about this often. In what areas are we meant to parent, to use our life experiences and wisdom to lead our children down a certain path, and where are we meant to let them figure things out on their own? On the one hand, you have very controlling parents who have a right and wrong way for everything and the child is meant only to do what they are told by the parent. On the other hand, you have incredibly permissive parents whose children are really in charge, and they do more acquiescing to the child's demands than anything else. Somewhere in the middle is where the child knows their parents are in charge, but also that their thoughts and feelings are respected and valued. I try to find this middle ground so many times every day. I constantly have to ask myself, do I step in here, or step back?

I think hair is an area where we can step back. If John and Lucy don't care how their hair looks, then I will do it the way I think is best. But if John is coming to me asking to spike up his hair, there's really no reason for me to say no. How does it affect me if he wears his hair a certain way? Am I more concerned about what people might think or say about it, than about the way it makes John feel? He likes it and he's proud of himself. Why should I force him to do it the way I want? We moms can get caught up in the idea that our children, out in public, are a relfection of ourselves and need to look and act a certain way, or people will think we are bad moms. When we start making decisions for our children based on what other people will think of US, it is time to reevaluate our intentions. Do I want our family to be dressed up at Mass so that other people will think we are a put-together family, or because I think it is important to set the Mass apart from other things that we do, and offer that respect to God? Sometimes, it's the former. Do I tell Lucy her clothes must match for school because I don't want other parents at UPS to think I "let her go out like that"? Unfortunately, the answer is yes.

Doing this is a disservice to myself and to the kids. Lucy learns more by choosing her own clothes and getting herself dressed than by putting on the matching outfit I pick in the morning. And, John learns more by standing in front of the mirror and styling his hair the way he wants then by doing it the way I tell him, just because he has to.

This is a lesson I have to teach myself over and over again every day. John's spiked hair is a visible reminder that I need to be constantly working for that balance between control and permissiveness, between having it my way and letting go.

Coming up on 90.1 FM

Should Illinois Hold a New Constitutional Convention?
For the People: Election 2008
7:30 pm Thursday on WILL-TV
8 pm Thursday on WILL-AM
Do the benefits of rewriting parts of the Illinois Constitution outweigh the potential risks involved in exposing the entire constitution to revision? Tune in for a discussion of this ballot question.

The Scariest Music of All Time!
4:06-8:00 pm
Halloween
Greet your trick-or-treaters with the perfect soundtrack of uninterrupted macabre mood music from the worlds of classical and film music. The last hour features The Scariest Jazz of All Time!

Election Night Coverage
7:00 pm November 4
No matter who you voted for, waiting for the results could be frightening! FM 90.9 simulcasts with AM 580 and will.illinois.org for as long as it takes to declare a winnner.

Mental Models, and one big happy family

The federal budget is really big and complex. I think they actually replaced the "Bridge to Nowhere" with a printout of the FY2009 budget on extra heavyweight cardstock paper. It made it to Ketchikan Island, and was much cheaper.

Seriously though. How can we comprehend it all? Well we can make a simple mental model. Check out this page (Wikipedia never lies): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_United_States_federal_budget

What's astounding is how many line items there are on expenses. What's even more astounding is how few are above $100 billion dollars (in Washington bizarro world that's the threshold for an interesting abount of money) That's basically the point of this post. Let's collapse the budget down to look like a family budget:

Let's say our 300 million family makes $1000 a week (being a super power there is no one to pay taxes to, so it's all take-home pay. Cha ching!)

So our weekly income looks like this:


Income

Total Income:	$1000
Personal Income Taxes:	$462.96
Social Security taxes:	$351.48
Corporate Taxes:	$125.56
Other income:	$60

Now, imagine that we put all expenses on the credit card and pay the full $1000 over to the card company every week:


Expenses

Total Expenses:	$1150.37
Social Security:	$238.58
Defense and War Spending:	$237.04
Medicare/Medicaid:	$234.37
Unemployment/Welfare:	$133.33
National Debt Interest:	$96.30
Every other thing:	$211.11

So now that we can see our federal weekly budget with all the zeros stripped away some things are very clear.

1. We are overspending our budget by 15%. $1000 in, $1150 out. Every week. Not good.
2. We are paying $96 dollars a week in credit card interest. Wow! How is that possible? That's ~$5000 a year in CC interest. It's possible because we have a $198,948 credit card balance. Yep you heard it here first, if the USA family makes $52K per year, we have $200k of debt. What would Suze Orman say?
3. $800 a month of our income comes from people's paychecks. $200 comes from corporations (made of people) and other sources. Interestingly the founders envisioned that the federal government would be paid for by duties and tarrifs. That's $30 a week in this model.
4. There are five expenses that cover most everything: Social Security ($240), Defense ($240), Medicare ($230), Unemployment/Welfare ($130), Interest ($100), the rest is less than 20%
5. The bad news is that the Social Security and Medicare payments are expected to rise as our parents get older.

What does this mental model say about our presidential candidates? They are profoundly unserious about the budget. They both agree conceptually that spending cuts are good. They both say we will "eliminate waste". McCain stresses earmarks, Obama "bad programs". The problem is that the stuff that can be classified as waste or junk is a tiny tiny fraction of the budget. Social Security, Welfare, Medicare, and Unemployment are not "waste". They are doing exactly what they were designed to do, giving money to some citizens. To scale them back means we are agreeing that those citizens would receive less. That's a tough political sell, but it becomes more urgent with each passing year. Neither one of these has said a thing about limiting any of these entitlement beasts. The last major politician to propose a plan for anything on this list was Bush in early 2005 regarding Social Security. He got beat down so bad it wasn't even funny.

What is the center piece of both budget plans? A tax cut. Obama's is a "cut" for most americans, and a stiff increase on the wealthy. Obamas is a refundable credit, meaning that you can be owed money by the fed, even if you paid no income taxes that year. Many low income people with children qualify for this. It will be a few hundred dollars. If high income people pay more to the IRS, and low income people get checks from the IRS, what just happened? I think by the numbers total revenue is raised a bit, so Obama gets a plus mark for increasing the $1000 a month mark.

McCain's is a cut of rates in all brackets across the board, but the 0% rate stays at zero percent, no refund beyond what you paid the IRS in the first place. Overall tax revenues go down. That's hard to stomach in the face of the $150 a week defecit. There are some arguments that can be offered that low taxes and defecit spending over time grow your economy to the point where you are better able to dig yourself out of the hole. Maybe. It's a deep hole.

I hope this post is clarifying to you as you think about the budget. The ratio to use is $3 billion per year in Washington is one dollar per week in our family budget model. The next time some one talks about a $3 billion cost, just add one dollar to the $1150 per week expenses. The $700 billion dollar bailout is would cost us $233 per week if we paid it off this year. Of course, we won't do that. On the credit card it goes!

I've wanted to write a post like this for years. I didn't think I'd stay up until 2 AM to do it though!

My Brother's Keeper

My economics teacher in college opened the first lecture in my macro economics class with Cain's question to God: "Am I my brother's keeper?" It's the fundamental tension at the heart of all of our domestic political decisions. What resposibility do you have for your fellow citizen. Where do you draw the line?

As a thought exercise, try this. What if tax bills came with a receipt. It's not a big deal right? Your department store can itemize everything down to the penny, including the sale price, and your buy 1 get 1 coupon. It's all right there. What if the federal govenment did the same thing? What are you willing to pay for? What not? What would make you feel happy to pay for? What would make you feel angry?

Would you buy a rifle for a soldier?
Would you pay a teacher?
Would you pay a doctor a fellow citizen that you'll never meet?
Would you pay a public defender?
Would you buy a bomb for a jet?
Would you buy prescription drugs for a senior citizen?
Would you pay for a part of a road?
Would you buy part of a questionable mortgage to help a bank out?
Would you give money to someone without a job?
Would you go out and buy a bunch of stock in a Wall Street bank that was in trouble?
Would you buy food for someone without a job?
Would you pay for someone with no marketable skill to learn a trade?
Would you give money to a retired person?
Would you pay to fund a theater performance?
Would you pay to do environmental cleanup?

Fine questions all. Tough answers, to be sure. The thing of it is we create a big pot, dump all the money into it, stir and distribute. It gets a lot easier to distribute when it goes that way doesn't it? We don't even have to think about it.

Taxes and Plumbers

So the biggest "October suprise" so far in the election is that of the emergence of "Joe the Plumber". An interesting fellow from Ohio who has managed to get Barack Obama to say some damaging sound bites (namely "spread the wealth around") in ways that highly paid TV anchors have tried and failed.

There is an extended interview with this guy here:
http://www.familysecuritymatters.org/publications/id.1465/pub_detail.asp

(Interestingly this was conducted and posted before the debate when Joe (not his real name) was vaulted to stardom.)

I love talking to guys like this. John, the guy that came to fix our refrigerator was very much like this. They didn't go to college, they are open about their total lack of knowledge in many areas, they seem sort of crass or rough, yet in many ways they are living an American ideal! They enjoy a freedom that many white collar folks never do. They are the masters of their fates, knowing that they live or die by their referrals, and their ability to outwork the other guy. They know that they make a fraction per hour of what CEOs or other elites do, but they don't see themselves as victims. That's something that our political discourse has lost. Most talk about "working americans" from politicians conjures up images of sad sacks, totally dependent on evil managers and big bad governement to give them every good thing in life.

I'm glad Joe the Plumber vaulted onto the stage. I love that this guy feels confident enough to stride up to Obama, Harvard Grad, US Senator, and President apparent and confronts him so directly about what he sees as obvious problems with the plan. That's healthy democracy.

Would they take half?

This is my dream home. I am completely in love with this house. It is the elusive "new (remodeled) home in an old neighborhood." It is in my favorite part of Champaign, right by Davidson park. I think everything about this house is completely fantastic, from the amazing kitchen to the little fence in front, the big tree in back and the hot tub. I love the colors, the doors, the entryway, everything.
I love our home, but I am keeping my eye on this one. My friend told me it's been empty for 4 months and they are thinking about dramatically lowering the price to get it sold, because the owners have already moved to Atlanta.

The Golden Rule

According to Dr. P.M. Forni, everyone can improve the quality of their relationships and lives by choosing to be more considerate, courteous and polite. For the past decade, Dr. Forni—a professor at Johns Hopkins University and author of Choosing Civility: The 25 Rules of Considerate Conduct and The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude—has been on a mission to promote gracious behavior.
"The quality of our lives is about treating each other well in every situation. We are all the trustees of one another's happiness and well-being in life," he says.
Dr. Forni says modern society is structured in a way that actually amplifies and encourages incivility. "We are stressed, we are fatigued and we are in an anonymous environment. Stress and anonymity are two very, very common causes of rudeness," he says. "Especially when they are together, like in traffic."
"The principle of respectful persons is the principle upon which all ethical systems have been based from the beginning of humanity, since certainly the last 2,000 years," he says. "[The principle] says that we ought to treat others as ends in themselves, rather than as beings for the satisfaction of our own immediate needs and desires."

There's political activism...

...and then there's this.

Ha ha!

The Blue Zone

I just read a fantastic book called "The Blue Zone." A National Geographic reporter did interviews around the world with people living 100+ years. He compiled all the interviews and came up with 9 things that all (or almost all) of the people said they did that contributed to their longevity. Here they are:

1. Move naturally, be active without having to think about it
2. Cut your calories by 20%, eat until you are mostly full but not completely stuffed
3. Avoid meat and processed foods
4. Drink a glass of red wine every day
5. Take time to see the big picture, define a purpose for your life
6. Make stress relief an important part of your life
7. Participate in a spiritual community
8. Make family a priority
9. Find your "right tribe," surround yourself with people who support and believe in you and the things you care about

Any surprises in there? I don't really think so. When I think of the people in my life who are truly happy, they follow most of these ideas. Active, relaxed people who love their families, take care of themselves, spend time with people they love, pursue their interests, and know a little something about who they are.

What can I do today to include one of these 9 ideas in my life a little bit more?

Boo Bath

Giving Isaac his bath is such a joy. I usually give him a bath every other day, right after the kids leave for school and before his morning nap. He gets so relaxed and sleepy, he falls right asleep for his nap and sleeps for a good 2 hours after that. He smells so good and his skin is so soft. His little fuzzy hairs on his head are all sticking up in every direction. It makes me smile just thinking about it!
He is 5 months old now and he is very grabby. He is grabbing everything. I have to be careful when I hold him at dinnertime, because he will grab and pull my bowl or plate right off the table! This grabbing is so much fun in the bath, because he tries to grab the water. Grabbing the water is one of those little things that I had forgotten about having a baby. John and Lucy both did it, and I loved it then, but forgot about it as they grew. The first time Isaac did it, I just started laughing out loud! Oh yeah, I forgot that little sweet thing babies do! Anyway he just watches the stream of water as I pour it over him, and tries to catch it in his fingers. He also loves to grab the washcloth and suck on it to get the water out. He is such a curious little guy.
After the bath, wrapping him up in a hoodie towel is so sweet. He kicks his arms and legs like crazy because he feels so good. I rub his head with the hood of the towel and he coos. His lotion smells so nice and I love to give him a little baby massage while I put it on him.
Isaac's bath is relaxing and calming for us both! It is one of those great times when I can put everything else out of my mind and just be there, in the moment with him. Nobody else is around and I don't have to keep my mind on anything but him.

Chicago restaurant suggestions?

I am taking a trip to Chicago with Kimberly and Brandi on Dec. 13 and 14. We are going to stay at a posh downtown hotel and do non-mom, sophisticated city things. We are going to wear expensive shoes and designer sunglasses and carry our fancy handbags. It will be like Sex In The City, only no sex and we're not in New York. The incredibly clever and witty ladies part will be true. So, I need to know a completely awesome, fun, no children allowed, swanky downtown restaurant where we can eat on Saturday night. No chains and no kids' menus! I would love as many suggestions as possible. We'll be near Millenium park and we'll have a car.

Pumpkin Patch!

Both Ginger and Liz posted pumpkin patch photos today. It looks like we need to take a family trip to Curtis Orchard! Luckily, we have a CIFAN social there on Sunday. I'll take some photos too!

The Great Pumpkin

There has been a discussion on our CIFAN message board about Halloween and The Great Pumpkin. I am jazzed about stealing the idea. Thanks, smart food allergy moms!
What you do is, allow all the kids to trick or treat as usual. Then, everybody sorts out the "safe" candy from the "not safe" candy. Already it's a great idea, because John is getting practice reading labels and recognizing safe foods and not safe foods. You gather up all of the "not safe" candy and put it in a bag out on the front porch. The next morning, the Great Pumpkin takes the bag and leaves a treat behind, like a toy or book, etc. for all the kids.
John may be just a little too old for this, but I think he will still enjoy it. Lucy will think it's completely awesome. Isaac will blow bubbles and coo.
I wish I had been doing it all along!

Brothers In Bed

Two brothers snuggling and playing in our bed, this morning before school.

Fantastic Weekend!

We had the best weekend! After lazing around on Saturday morning, we went over to catch some of the Illini game with Michelle and the kids. The Illini lost, boo, but we had a fun time nonetheless. After that, the kids went to a birthday party at The Little Gym (one of their favorite places), and Isaac was napping when Kevin's folks arrived at our house. So I had the better part of an hour to sit and visit quietly with Ken and Judy. How nice! After the birthday party, Kevin and I went out for dinner and a show with Michelle and Scott. All three kids stayed home with Jude and Ken. Everything was fantastic! I was worried about leaving Boo, because the few times we went out over the summer he was asleep before we left. This time he was awake, and Judy was going to put him to bed. He did wonderfully. He had plenty of pumped milk in bottles and went to bed without a fuss. I think that Isaac and Judy have a special bond. He has really taken to her. She has such a nice soft voice and a gentle way about her that he loves. On Sunday morning, as soon as Isaac saw her he started to smile and coo. I was so thankful about it! Of course John and Lucy had the time of their lives, playing baseball in the backyard with Ken and doing their Pixos. Judy hit the jackpot by finding two magic kits, one for each of the kids, and bringing them as a treat. John thinks he is Harry Houdini and has shown me his tricks no less than 25 times each. (See the coin mom? Now I'll put it in this box...and it's gone! But look, now it's back!!) Yesterday afternoon, Lucy and I went into her room to learn some of her tricks together, then she put on a show for Kevin. We have gotten a lot of mileage out of the two magic trick kits already.

Last week was Scott's birthday so he chose our restaurant on Saturday night, and he picked Radio Maria. Radio Maria is infamous in C-U but oddly enough I had never been there before. Usually when you mention Radio Maria, people say "weird food" or "eclectic food" or "I hope you are OK with being experimental." So I wasn't sure how I would like it. OH MY GOSH. It was so completely delicious I can not even explain it. It may be the best meal I've ever had, no joke. It's definitely in the top five. I want to go there every Saturday night. Hee hee!

Kimberly recommended the coffee filet (which is a steak with crushed coffee beans on the outside, and a vanilla sauce with whipped sweet potatoes) so Kevin got this. It was all I could do not to grab the plate away from him and eat the whole thing myself. I tried a curried shrimp dish with coconut rice and tropical fruits. I wanted to lick the plate. Seriously. We had some delicious red wine, an awesome appetizer with brie, walnuts and jalapeno jelly, and of course, fantastic conversation with some of our favorite people. We were almost late for the show because we were enjoying ourselves so much.

After dinner we went to see Chicago at the Assembly Hall. The movie version of Chicago is a personal favorite (#1 favorite: Chicago. #2: Dreamgirls. #3: Hairspray. Getting a theme?) and I have a special place in my heart for this musical, because seeing it onstage in the city is one of the last things I did with my grandmother before she passed away. My grandma, my aunt and I used to go to the city when I was in high school and do different fun things, go out to eat, see shows, shop, etc. and this was one of our final outings. I absolutely loved the show of course, but I have a beautiful memory of waiting for the show to start and my grandmother telling me about my grandpa leaving to go overseas during WWII and telling her, I am going to marry you as soon as I get back. I do not know a lot of old family stories like this so the memory is very special.

Anyway, Saturday night's version of Chicago was only mediocre but still a fun time with Kevin and friends. The actresses playing Roxie and Velma were bad, but Amos and Billy were pretty good. I was remembering Emily's story about seeing Cats at Assembly Hall and it being so bad it was laughable. I think I see where she was coming from! It was about 85 degrees in the Hall and some guy in front of us needed a shower real bad. But I am still glad we went, I couldn't pass it up.

Is this post long enough yet?

Yesterday Kevin's folks spent most of the day with us and treated us all to Chipotle for lunch. We spent the afternoon just hanging out, cleaning up and collapsing into bed at 9 PM. OK, that was me. Kevin stayed up until midnight!

If I could give anything to Angelina Jolie...

...it would be my Hooter Hider. (Although, mine is better than the ones on this web site, it was made with love by my mother in law.)

http://nachofoto.com/photo-of-Angelina-Jolie-Cover-4f18b6f3cf60

Just joking about the "hh" as my friends call it. Actually I think this photo is great. Power to the breastfeeding celebrities, is what I say.

Yesterday

Yesterday, John and Lucy were home from school. It was strange having a day off on a Thursday, and then school again on Friday. Our Thursday started out great, Kevin went in to work late because we got caught up in a discussion about nuclear energy. (Clearly we revel in our ultimate dorkiness.) After laying Isaac down for a nap, the kids and I had breakfast together and played Pixos. This is their current favorite toy. We've used up all the beads it came with and have almost gone through a refill pack in about 10 days total. Once Isaac woke up we all went out to the backyard and up into the "secret fort," which is what they call the little house on top of our playset. Even Isaac got to play in the secret fort, which made everyone laugh. Lucy was interested in writing out the full names of our family members, so John and I spelled them for her and she wrote them all down. It was great practice for John to spell and for Lucy to write. The weather was beautiful and I felt truly happy outside in the backyard having fun with our kids.
My dad came for a visit which the kids always love. We went over to the mall and did a little shopping, I fell in love with a certain pair of shoes, but alas yesterday I was not meant to have them. As I was waiting to try them on, Isaac started crying like crazy and John had an allergy attack out of nowhere. He started choking and broke out in hives. So, I was nursing Isaac and giving John Benadryl while holding the Epi-Pen, ready to use it. Luckily it did not go that far. We all came home and rested, John missed his gymnastics class because I did not want him to run around and be very active after the allergy attack. My dad very graciously let me take a nap while playing with the kids, which really calmed me down.
Our day was still not over though! I am the Family Activities Co-Coordinator for the Disciples In Mission program that is starting up at St. Matt's. I will have to post more about this another time. I am really excited about this program and Father Mark asked me to help out which is great. The difficult part is, most of our meetings are at 6:30 PM on Thursdays, and John's gymnastics class ends at 6 PM. So, we've been meeting up with Kevin at the Panera by St. Matt's for dinner, wolfing down some soup and sandwiches, then Kevin brings the kids home and I attend the meeting. We did this last night, and the meeting went until 9:15 PM. It is a good group of people and I don't really know anyone else who is helping out, which I love. (I get such a kick out of meeting new people.)
I was finally wearing my pajamas and sharing our "how was your day" rundowns with Kevin at 10 PM.
Today was just as full...and so is tomorrow! I met Mark and Steph's brand new baby daughter this morning, she is just as cute as can be and her middle name is ANNE, which you can not beat (mine and Lucy's too). The kids got their hair cut and we had pizza and watched Annie with Cara, Elin and Sofie tonight. I think Cara and I liked it even more than the kids, as we relived our girlhood dreams of being Annie on stage (although both of us have straight blonde hair, which does not cut it).
Have a great weekend everybody!

A few thoughts

Are you worried about the economy? Although Kevin and I are (surprise, surprise) conservative with our finances, and not presently in any imminent financial danger (aside from the major dive in 401K's that everybody is experiencing), I still feel jittery. I have only a rudimentary understanding of the economy so all this bad news is not only scary, but also confusing. I woke up this morning to...well, first to a nursy baby, but second, to the news that markets all over the world are tanking and governments everywhere are "bailing out" their banks and financial institutions. What does this mean? What does it mean for our country, for Champaign-Urbana and for our family?
I have definitely been more careful in the past month with our spending, especially with food. I know this is a good thing to do regardless, but I have been asking myself, what can we have for dinner with the items we already have? Let's finish all of our leftovers, let's have sandwiches and salads to use up odds and ends, let's not go out to eat, etc.
Since Kevin's work is sales-driven, my own increase in frugality makes me wonder about the companies who buy from him. Are they also tightening their belts? Is Kevin's company going to see a downturn in business? Many questions and many fears, I am sure families all across the country are wondering these things and more. I am afraid that we will start to see companies going out of business and more people losing their jobs before things start to turn around.
This leads me to my next thought. I think John McCain is pretty much done for. We watched the debate last night and I thought he looked tired. He stumbled over his words a lot and his jokes were awkward and corny. I thought it looked like he was just kind of wandering around the stage. He said the same old things over and over (although Obama did some of this too) and I don't think he did anything to change anyone's mind or convince anyone to vote for him. I think it would take a small miracle for McCain to turn this around and I don't think it is going to happen. Kevin and I prefer McCain, but there is something that I genuiinely like about Barack Obama and that is, he brings people hope. I don't think most people can point to the exact thing about him that they like or trust or have confidence in. I don't think it's a specific policy or idea, and it's more than simply "not Bush" (although that's part of it). But there is something about him that makes people feel hopeful about what he can accomplish and the direction he will take our country. That is something I can get behind, a big dose of positive energy and HOPE after these 8 years of so much unhappiness and bitter disappointment toward the president. Yes there are things about Obama that I do not agree with but people like him, the media likes him, the congress will be heavily Democratic and I think these things point to him being able to accomplish something. We'll see what his interpretation of "change" turns out to be and we'll see what a president who has a great deal of support and backing from the people, the media and the congress can do with all of that positive energy. I feel good about a breath of fresh air in the White House in spite of the areas where I disagree with him.
The other day I heard Maya Angelou saying, as a country we are the same more than we are different. We all want our children to be educated, we all want people to get the medical care they need, we all want to support our veterans and take care of our military men and women, protect workers and so on. We may disagree, sometimes strongly, about how to accomplish that, but ultimately what we all want is the same.

Size 2 Diapers

I bought a new box of diapers for Boo this afternoon, and I bought size 2 for the first time! Oh my little baby is growing up.

Morning and Night

Since Isaac came on the scene I've had a really hard time staying awake at night. It's super frustrating, because as soon as all three kids are asleep and I can finally have some adult time, I fall asleep almost immediately. I will look forward all day to spending time with Kevin, or watching a show on TV, or reading a book, making a phone call, etc. Then, the next thing I know, it's 11 PM and I've been asleep on Lucy's bed for 3 hours. It happens like this probably 4 nights out of 7 in a week and I am getting really sick of it! Having no time at the end of the day to get yourself together and gather your thoughts makes it just that much harder to get going the next morning.
One of the things that is keeping me sane right now is that Kevin is a night person and I am a morning person. If we could each have our ideal daily schedules, mine would be 7 am - 9 pm and his would be 10 am - 1 am. We've just discovered over the years that we have different energy at different times of the day and we've figured out how to use this to our family's advantage.
So, when I crash at a ridiculously early time in the evening, I know Kevin will take care of the "nighttime things" - load the dishwasher, pick up the toys, close the windows, etc. etc. And in the morning I try to do more of the "morning things" - get the kids dressed, make John's lunch, get breakfast, etc.
This has also been helpful when Kevin needs to work some extra hours. He will come home at the usual time, we'll have dinner, play with the kids, get them to bed, chat, etc. knowing that when I fall asleep too early (ha), he can stay up a couple more hours and get his extra work done.
We both feel like we can see these tendencies in the kids already too. John is definitely a morning person, and Lucy is more of the late sleeper. John regularly wakes up at 6:30 am, and there are days when I have to drag Lucy out of bed for school. We'll see which way Isaac goes!

Isaac Just

ROLLED OVER for the first time! Go Boo! Go Boo!

Presidential Candidates' Charitable Giving

Based on their 2007 tax returns:

McCain 27.3%
Obama 5.8%
Palin 3.8%
Biden(who is Catholic) 0.3%

Be A Follower

If you read our blog then be my follower (ha ha). Scroll down a little bit and on the right side of the page, click on "follow this blog." Unless, of course, you enjoy being an anonymous lurker.

People, the Meijer is OPEN

A couple of years ago, a Wal-Mart Supercenter opened about 5 minutes from our house. A small, locally owned IGA store with a natural/organic/allergy-free section around the corner from us closed almost immediately. For several months I was so mad that the small store carrying many of John's special foods shut down. I am not anti-"big box" for the most part, although the thing that bothers me most about Wal-Mart Supercenters is the way so many people in the community become Wal-Mart employees, rather than business owners on their own or employees of smaller or locally-owned companies. I don't like how mechanics, optometrists, hair stylists, etc. all end up working for Wal-Mart because smaller operations can't stay in business. So for these two reasons, I didn't go into the Wal-Mart for probably six months. Over time, though, I was swayed by the low low prices and the convenience of getting so many things accomplished at once. Over time the thing that bothered me most about the Wal-Mart became the best feature - everything in one place. I think moms in particular benefit from not having to drag their children all over town to stop at 5 different stores and get all the errands done. I still go back and forth about this, because I know the big box stores are (in some ways) not very good for the community, but in terms of price and convenience they are very good for me. Isn't this the unending struggle in a capitalist society? The people or the almighty dollar?

So, I guess the almighty dollar won in this case because I've shopped at the Wal-Mart for the past 18 months or so. It was OK for a while, but since the beginning of the year, shopping at our Wal-Mart has become truly awful. All philosophical debates aside, very time I go in there, it gets worse. They never have enough employees and the employees they do have are, shall we say, not invested in providing excellent customer service. They will have 25 people in line to pay and two check-outs open. I've waited by the deli sometimes 20 minutes or more while the employees stand around and chat with each other. You never know what they will have on the shelves because their restocking is so inconsistent. Sometimes John's rice milk will be out for weeks - so I end up going to multiple stores anyway. The store is getting progressively dirtier and dirtier, and the produce is so sad, there are fruit flies everywhere, and sometimes they don't even have apples. I mean, come on! Apples?
Since Isaac was born Kevin or I have often done some grocery shopping later at night, 9 or 10 PM, and this summer at the Wal-Mart I sometimes felt unsafe. There have been groups of young men just roaming the aisles doing nothing but making noise and using profanity for everyone to hear. This is not high schoolers bumming around, I mean like guys in their 20's who shouldn't be there. Even worse is the wierd men by themselves with no cart and nothing in their hands just wandering around the store. Even late at night, 10 PM or later, there are young kids there who should be asleep and just about every time I go, there are parents mistreating their kids unnecessarily. Not necessary discipline which we all need to do from time to time, I mean, out of line stuff when the kids did nothing wrong. At least once every time I am at this Wal-Mart I hear someone yell my least favorite thing at their kid: shut up. Maybe I am too sensitive or old fashioned or whatever, but I don't think anyone should ever say "shut up" to anyone.
So the Wal-Mart experience, which I was never settled about anyway, has gone steadily downhill. The saving grace has been watching a Meijer slowly being built at the corner of Philo and Windsor roads, which Kevin and I have determined is 4 minutes and 58 seconds from our house. We drive by this every day on the way to UPS and have been desperately waiting for it to open, so we never have to set foot in the Wal Mart again. My next door neighbor has joked that she and her husband go up to the door and just press their noses up against the glass to see the progress they are making.
As of Wednesday, THE MEIJER IS OPEN! I went there three times this weekend. I know that's pathetic but I don't care! On Friday night I told Kevin, after the kids go to bed I am going over to the Meijer. Like, that was my fun Friday night event. (We did actually need some groceries but still.)
So, Meijer is a big box store and there are still the issues of local business and keeping more money in our community and all of those things. In the end, will I still be happy, or feel the same way I eventually did about the Wal-Mart? We also have a County Market store very close to our house, and I am interested to see what will happen with that. Each time I went over to Meijer this weekend it was completely jammed packed, the parking lot was so full I had to drive around looking for a spot. I wonder if the County Market will be able to stay open, or if the Wal-Mart will have any problems staying open for that matter. Or if my social conscious will get the better of me and I'll start forking over the cash at Strawberry Fields and Common Ground Co-Op.
There are a couple of things I love about the Meijer. Number one is they carry many of the special foods that I buy for John. Almost the entire Enjoy Life line, his special butter, cereals, rice milk, cake and cookie mixes, etc. They really do have an extensive selection of natural/organic/allergen-free products and have good prices on them. Their produce is excellent. They have honeycrisp apples. Everything looks so good and so fresh. There were employees everywhere. They had 4 people working at the deli counter - which, by the way, had a separate slicer for turkey, ham, beef, and cheese. No dairy products ever touch the meat slicers. Someone asked me if I wanted help to my car. They have self-checkouts for less than 12 items AND more than 12 items, and there are like 15 self check stations. You can't get your oil changed there, or bank there, or get a haircut, or get help with your taxes, so although it is a big box store it is smaller in scope but still adds convenience for us moms.

The point of this story is: I love the Meijer. For now.

Color

I have finally figured out what my favorite color is.
Lucy asks me all the time what my favorite color is, and I really don't know. I usually say lavender although that's not really it. I know it sounds really dumb but it bothers me every time she asks me, that I don't have a favorite color. I think to myself, am I so lost as an individual that I don't even know what colors I like? Nothing like a four year old's question to make you ponder the deeper meaning of your life.
Anyway, now that fall is upon us and Halloween is around the corner, traditionally "fall" colored things are everywhere and yesterday it struck me. ORANGE is my favorite color! I love orange! I was genuinely pleased to figure this out. It is the little things in life, I guess!

According to some lady online, having orange as a favorite color says this about you:

Orange: This color of luxury and pleasure appeals to the flamboyant and fun-loving person who likes a lively social round. Orange people may be inclined to dramatize a bit, and people notice them, but they are generally good-natured and popular. They can be a little fickle and vacillating, but on the whole they try hard to be agreeable. Orange is the color of youth, strength, fearlessness, curiosity and restlessness.
How the color orange effects us mentally and physically:
* Stimulates activity
* Stimulates appetite
* Encourages socialization

So there you have it.

VP Debate

I am not watching it and neither is Kevin. My girl Sarah is on her own tonight. If she is going to be an idiot, so be it. My guess is, if she blows it in a major way, McCain can call it a day.

Funny Stuff

John: Mom, do we know any scientists?
Me: Well, Ben is a scientist, he does research.
John: Does he work at a lab?
Me: Yep.
John: Do you think he has chemicals at his lab?
Me: I am pretty sure he does.
(quiet for a while)
John: Mom, next time I see Ben, do you think I could ask him to mix up his chemicals and make me a super strength flying potion?


Lucy: Mom, will Daddy still be alive when I am an adult?
Me: Yes, I think he will still be alive when you are an adult.
(quiet for a while)
Lucy: Then could I get married to Daddy?

Wisdom from Danielle Bean (via Liz!)

Many thanks to Liz for sharing this completely true bit of wisdom from Danielle Bean. I absolutely agree with this 100% and could not have said it better. I am stealing it (sharing it?)from her blog and re-posting here because I think it is so wise.

On parenting philosophies:
“Through the years I’ve read many parenting books and found much helpful wisdom in many of them, “attachment parenting” books included. My reading and experience, however, have led me to the conclusion that parenting philosophies are dangerous things. In the end I’ve rejected all the expert parenting philosophies. This isn’t because there’s anything particularly bad about any of them. Experience has simply led me to employ a different parenting philosophy in their place: my own. I call mine Do What Works Best for Your Family…. In some groups with which I’ve been associated, parenting philosophy feels almost like a pseudo religion. The implication is that following a particular set of rules will make you a good mother. In fact, they imply it so effectively that many mothers (and I have been one of them) suffer from feelings of guilt and failure when things don’t go as smoothly as the books tell them they should. Well, I already have a religion, thank you… Babies know when they are loved and cared for. They know when their mothers are relaxed and happy. So when presented with a parental challenge, go ahead and read the books, talk to the experts, and survey your playgroup. In the end, however, take and use only what works best for you and your family. Toss the rest… and the guilt along with it.”

From Mom to Mom, Day to Day Advice & Support for Catholic Living, by Danielle Bean

Happy Things

I feel like, in the past couple of weeks, I have been bombarded with negative stuff. There is a lot of bad news out in my world right now. I never want to buy anything made in China ever again. Our economy has tanked and it appears that Sarah Palin doesn't read. Nobody knows what to do about any of it. Some friends have been struggling with this and that, and it just seems like there is an unusually high level of things to fuss, complain, moan, bitch, rant, and be upset about in my life lately. At the end of the day I just want to watch TV and fall asleep. Blech.
So today I am making a concerted effort to remind myself of all the things I love. There are a lot. I am taking a break from the news today and thinking positive thoughts. I am going to add to my happy stuff list all day. Here goes.

A few of my favorite things.

• Number one favorite thing of all time - having a conversation with Kevin. I don't think there will ever be something I enjoy more than talking to Kevin.
• John laughing, Lucy laughing, Isaac laughing
• Remembering our trip to Disney World
• Grimes family Christmas
• Visiting friends out of town: St. Louis, Chicago suburbs, Minneapolis
• Our backyard swimming pool
• Getting a magazine in the mail. My favorites: Everyday with Rachel Ray, Martha Stewart Body and Soul, Faith and Family.
• Putting on pajamas, turning on the fireplace, making hot chocolate and reading to the kids sitting on the couch under a blanket. We do this almost religiously after school around the holidays.
• Brats on the grill and corn on the cob
• The 20+ kids from our long time playgroup growing up together, and us 6 moms growing up together
• Musicals made into movies
• THE 'BUCKS - right now, pumpkin spice frappucino
• The way Isaac smells after his bath
• Going on a date with Kevin, especially to Flat Top Grill, sitting and talking for hours
• Chris Tomlin
• Lost
• Jhumpa Lahiri and the best book ever, Interpreter of Maladies
• Father Mark's homilies
• Going to the Farmer's Market with Kevin and the kids
• When I think John is asleep at night and he's reading with a little light under his blankets
• Having breakfast with the family at Courier Cafe on Saturday mornings
• Marcia's "Friendship Day" celebration last year and the lovely things all of John's classmates said about each other
• Stampin' Up
• John and Lucy's art and craft projects from school
• Hearts At Home day with Michelle and Emily
• Brooks and Shields, but only if Kevin is with me
• Hearing my dad recount the White Sox victory at the World Series game he went to